PCR Results

And the results are in .......

First of all, picture to the left is of the greatest man to ever put on a pair of Boxing Gloves, the incredible Sugar Ray Robinson. I had to keep his photo for last..


Well I travelled on public transport to pick up my results, stuck my favourite album (Wicked Grin - John Hammond) on my Ipod and off we go.

The results had been delayed for three days - which I took to be bad news, and my meeting had been moved from the Nurses Clinic area to the consultants floor (which again I took to be bad news).

Couldn't sleep the night before, put on a brave face ang got on the train. Listened to 4 songs without even realising I had my Ipod on, went back to track 1. same happenned again. - couldn't concentrate.

Taxi Ride to hospital.

Off to the consultants floor.

Nurse Kerry (who has been brilliant throughout treatment), walked in - said "oops" and walked out. Oh Fxxk I thought - she can't face me. She then came back 5 mins later with my notes - "Sorry she said, I forgot your notes". She asked me how I was and then, after a minute or two, said Ok - straight to he point "It's Good News - you're negative".

I broke down and cried, didn't cry when I was diagnosed, not thru treatment, nor while waiting for treatment, but not ashamed to admit I did when I got the results.

My wife was waiting downstairs, I told her the news and we both started crying again .. (What's with all this crying stuff - Way too tough for that --- LOL) ..

What a relief, it would have been hard to endure any more chemo next year.

Just fingers crossed for SVR now.

Its been a hell of a journey, way too tough. Its been humbling, I feel beat up and humbled and perhaps that's not such a bad feeling to have.

I've always been grateful in life, grateful for my parents when they were alive, grateful for the love of my wife, grateful to have two happy wonderful sons. Grateful for the love and support of my friends.

For anyone dropping by and reading this, if you have to go thru tx - IT IS DOABLE - it was hard for me, but it may not be for you. Some lucky people don't have side-effects.

I came thru and got PCR negative with really low blood results, with a reduced doseage and cleared. Your chances will probably be better than mine, if you have Hep C and get the chance for treatment - go for it. - You'll ace it - do it for me ..

There's been a boxing theme thru most of the posts thru this journey, that's cos I love boxing, and I also visualised it as a battle between me and the virus.

I took a beating but I never laid down, never will, sometimes (like in life) you just gotta suck it up, come back and knock the fuxxer out.

Laurie - winner by 12 round KO .


Much love to all

Lau

One More Round Rock !

As usual the first thing has nothing to do with Hep C at all. The picture on the left is one of the greatest upsets in 20th century sport. The picture is of Ali - Foreman ! The Rumble in the jungle - In Zaire. 1974.

It's hard to believe now, but no-one, no-one gave Ali a chance. He hadn't been champ for years, Foreman was considered industructible and in a poll of 20 ex world champs and 20 contenders, 39 went for Foreman with only Jerry Quarry picking Ali.

But one 9 year old boy, a 9 year old boxing historian, who learned to read by reading boxing books, on the other side of the world knew his hero wouldn't lose, and that was me. I've never been so happy to be proved right. Watched the match on ESPN on Monday and it still brings a lump to my throat - remarkable.

When Ali retired, Harry Carpenter - (a British legendary commentator), asked Ali if he'll miss boxing. Ali responded "No Harry, but boxing will miss me" - True words...

Anyway - on with the blog...

Yeehaaaaaa - only one more shot to go, took the penultimate one last night. It's a strange thing but I feel kinda full, know what I mean - just full up of all the chemo. I know it's psyco-sematic but I actually feel that way. FULL

My bloods have been up and down, but I'm limping and struggling to the finish line. Insomnia's the worst thing, one day this week was awake for 40 hours straight, tired but couldn't sleep..

Had a great day at the university getting published papers for my masters - god, I enjoy studying now - I have a new zest for it since being ill. Tx has stopped me sometimes - just too tired and mind confused with brain-fog, but when my mind clears - I just love it.

Decided that I will be making a career change after submitting the Thesis next March (results in Aug) - gonna look at education and writing as a career. Hope to do something in that sphere. Love being an IT manager, but would like to move into academia next year/year after. - It took the illness to persuade me to do that. - It does give you a different focus in life.

I'm starting to believe that being faced with your own mortality is a humbling and wondrous experience. I can honestly say that I have been focussed on the wife and children and not me, and that has been a great thing. I've never once thought "why me ?" - "this isn't fair" or any other negative thoughts, just want to get well for them.

Looking forward to finishing, counting down the days and hoping the results will be good.

Ridicilously tired now, fatigued, but ploughing on to the end.

As Mickey would say :

"One More round Rock - Ain't heard no final bell ! "

Love to all

Lau

6 Injections to Go !

Hi all,

As Usual, first item has nothing to do with me. This is a picture of one of my favourite musicians of all time. Robert Johnson. Robert Leroy Johnson (May 8, 1911 – August 16, 1938)

Always loved robert and his music. Robert was an amazing guitarist for his time. He was playing turn-arounds and chord structures that no-one else was playing. A true innovator. Many legends surround Robert - He was supposed to have "sold his soul to the devil at the Crossroads" to have gotten so good.

And he met an untimely end, poisoned by a jealous boyfriend of a girl he was seeing. But I remember him for his innovation - superb, my eldest boys middle name is named after Robert.


Anyway - back to the Hep C World !

In two days time I take injection No 19 - leaving me 5 to go. It's been a hell of a ride so far. No two weeks the same, some weeks feeling superb, others rage, others totally fatigued. I'm still studying for my Msc and struggling (major assessment due 29th May) - just need to pass and I'll be happy with that. - No distinctions this year.

My weight dropped down to 150 pounds last week, that means I skip breakfast, run round the block and I'm a welterweight - 12 months ago I was 210 pounds plus - A heavyweight. - I need a new wardrobe. Gotta get some weight back on ...

I was talking to an old friend this week, my best mate in the whole world. We've always been more like brothers our whole lives. The sort of friend who has always been there - you know - friends since birth. The only pal I stay in touch with from the old town. - Best man at my wedding, etc, etc ...

Anyway - as we were talking about guitars as usual on the phone, it struck me that I never told him I was ill. And then I thought "Why haven't I told him ?" - I've told lots of other people, why not my best mate in the whole world ?

It got me to thinking - who do you tell and WHY ?

I worked out why I didn't tell my best mate - he's busy - works 7 days a week, sometimes 12 hour days, he has three kids and he would worry about me non-stop. - I would only tell him if the situation was irretrievable. I love him too much to cause him the worry, he simply doesn't need it.

Of course - when I'm fit and well I'll tell him and then he'll tell me off. It's a bit intimidating being told off by someone physically more powerful than Mike Tyson.

Just can't wait to finish this treatment, counting down the days and weeks now and just trying to keep busy.

Anyway..

Love to all


Lau

It Ain't Over til It's Over

I love Rocky, I love Rocky VI. I especially love the sub-title - "It Ain't Over Til It's Over".

Kinda sums up the way I feel about Hep C. Sometimes things are good, usually bad, and there's a long way to go thru treatment. I'm luckier than most - my genotype (3a) requires only 24 weeks of treatment, other people endure 48 weeks of treatment. They have my life-long admiration for being able to endure the Tx, it's hard for some. Been hard for me, but I try and keep my mind focussed throughout.

My wife tells me I've been great thru treatment (tx), and her opinion counts more than anyone else in my life, so I'll go with that.

Progress : On the last post, I mentioned that I had the dilemna of self-medicating, in the UK we have a postcode lottery, this means that you are treated differently geographically. A wonderful "friend of a friend" had some Neupogen/Procrit spare and my platelets, neutrophils and others were getting dangerously low. So low that the med team were reducing the strength of treatment, the next step would be to stop treatment. It would be hard to go thruogh this again.

All because my regional Health Authority would not prescribe Neupogen/Procrit. After talking thru things with more knowledgeable people than I on the on-line forum, and doing some serious research I self-medicated.

And it worked. My figures jumped up, neutros, platelet, etc .. - All had a nice healthy jump and this has allowed my med team to put me back on full-strength treatment. I have several neupogens left, which I will use sparingly to get me thru the last of treatment. - 10 weeks to go.

Can't thank everyone enough for their help and support. Especially the wonderful donor of the Neupogen.

My med team are scratching their heads, - they have never had anyone drop so low (my platelets were at 26 and now at 51) and come back to this level again. I think I'll leave it as a mystery or act of god for them to ponder..

I feel strong and looking forward to completing my treatment.

Studies

I was feeling well enough to get my head into some books and continue my studies. I am doing a part-time Masters Degree in Computer Science and because it's part time you have to submit the dissertation in stages to prove your progress. I managed to pass - not the greatest score I could have achieved if fit, but it was a struggle to get it to that stage. Without the help from friends I wouldn't have been fit enough to pass. Pleased with myself. Looking forward to finishing tx and really getting into the subject with a clear mind (does the mind clear after tx, - hope so).

4 weeks ago I thought I may have to reduce to a very low level, or perhaps stop. Now I will be taking my 15th shot in a few days.

As Rocky would say "It ain't over til it's over" !!

Love to all,

Lau

Life at No 10 .

As usual - 1st item - nothing to do with Hep C.

Hi - the gentleman to the left is Robert Lockwood Jr. -

He was Robert Johnson's stepson - Robert Johnson was one of my all-time heroes - great bluesman, Robert Jr was a better guitarist and a lovely fellow - he died in December aged 91 - always loved Robert Jr - Greatly missed.

Anyway - back to the Blog .

Now up to my 10th shot, was feeling quite well - quite strong. Was exercising - nothing major, 40 press-ups, some stomach crunches a repetition. With 4 reps a day. Some light weights on weekends - all in all feeling quite strong.

Then had some joint problems and some muscle cramps which put paid to the exercising. - Oh well, never mind - weight still stable at 160 pounds (down from 205 months ago) -and then I think - what a vain baxxxrd ? ! - Why am I obsessing about my weight when I'm trying to kill this virus ? - Oh well - that'll teach me.

Blood Results

Mmmm - not too good, my platelets have dropped down to 26 - which means that the Med team will insist on reducing the Interferon doseage. - Something I'm really not happy about. In other countries or even different Health Authorities in the UK they would offer Neupogen or a platelet transfusion but not in the health area I live in. This is known in the UK as "the postcode lottery" - The standard of care differs from postcode (zipcode) to postcode.

I will scream and shout (politely but forcefully) and try and get my way, but a reduction in the short-term may be, sadly, the outcome. - I'll keep the results posted here.

Still not too down, although a little shocked for a few days. - Still battling on and strangely confident - I really feel that I'm gonna win this one ....

My dilemna

Let's just say that I knew someone, who knew someone, who bumped into someone, who has a few spare shots of Neupogen hanging around. - Should I use them ?

I would be self-medicating (to make up for my med-team who can't give me what I wish), and is this bad ? - But it is my health after all !

Your views ?


Love to all


LaurieBluesGuy

Johnny Tapia

Hi - for once this blog isn't about me, or indeed about Hep C - I've got a lot to say about that after my 10th shot on Wed.

This blog is for Johnny Tapia.

I'm a life-long boxing fan, my earliest memories are sitting with my Dad and watching boxing. Or even (before the days of satellite TV transmissions), being allowed to stay up late and listening to Radio Broadcasts from the States for the big, big fights.

Johnny Tapia is an amazing man, he is a life-long drug addict. Johnny was born in Alberqueque, New Mexico in poor, poor circumstances. At the age of eight he saw his Mother beaten, and dragged away from his home. She was later found raped and killed. - All this at the age of eight.

The crime was never solved.

Johnny always wanted to be a boxer and kept training, although even as a teenager he was a drug-addict and dropped occasionaly out of the boxing scene. He almost made the olympics with an amateur record of over 150 wins and a dozen or so losses.

He turned pro, dropped out cos he could never exercise his own personal demons - did drugs again. Made a comeback and was banned from boxing for 3 years cos he failed yet another drugs test. Johnny then hit drugs hard, was found on the streets, taken in by friends and slowly got back in shape.

He went on to win World championships at two different weights - I've never been so proud - I always loved Johnny.

He would drop out of boxing now and again, almost overdosed on two different occasions, would get clean and get back in the ring.
Johnny needed boxing to live a normal life.

Last week was his last fight, at age 40. - He retired amongst cheers from around the world.

I've been ill this weekend, been sleeping 14 hours a day - damn virus. -Haven't been catching up on the news. Just learned that Johnny has been found in a coma - 1 week after his retirement - overdosed on cocaine.

My thoughts, love and prayers are with Johnny now. Just hope he can pull thru and finally beat the demons.

Love you John

Lau

Casualties of the War (Shot 5 and 6)

The pic on the left is a pic of the Boer War casualties, the days when you buried the dead where they fell, it's relevance will bear fruit as the blog goes on.

Anyway - on with the blog.


As I have mentioned several times, I'm an IT manager in a Law Firm in South Wales. Trying to cope with this Hep C virus whilst juggling a very stresful job at the same time.

The Financial Director of the firm was sacked (oops - parted company with the firm) a month ago and that's when Civil War broke out. It transpired that he had been cooking the books for a few years and partners were drawing rich pickings from an overdraft instead of profits (and so, of course was he). Loans weren't being paid, contractors and suppliers weren't being paid, etc ...

Final result ? - The company is a several mil in the hole .

Options Available -

Option 1 - the partners draw reduced money for a year (saving several mil).

Option 2 - make 40 people redundant (hoping another 40 leave as well)

They went for option 2 and I am one of the casualties. Knew it was going to happen as soon as I took my first injection, could see it written on people's faces. I became expendable as soon as I started my treatment.

My reaction ? : - On one hand trying not to be upset to be honest, I get four months money, got some savings - so am happy to concentrate on getting well and trying to beat the virus and do my Masters Thesis and get a new job at the end of tx. - There are plenty of jobs about for a skilled guy - so I'm lucky there .. I also can't allow it to get me down - being stressed won't help me beat the virus .. so trying to cope with it ..

On the other hand ? - What a bunch of bastaxds. I dragged myself in there in considerable pain to work hard and then get treated this way - I guess it's reflective of the fact that some companies just don't pay employees the respect that they get from the same employees. - My major regret is that I'll miss my team, they're great guys and they're devastated. I always look after guys who work for me and I ensure they get certified training and career progression. Something they never had before I arrived and now something they won't get again. Two of the boys will be finishing too, so they're gutted as well.

It's not something that you need during tx - but that's people for you.

Shots 5 and 6

Strange - I am feeling physically very, very strong. - The tx doesn't take it out of me too much now. I am exercising again, something I haven't been able to do for 9 months. I'm doing press-ups, light weights, etc ..

My weight is down and stabilised at 164 (Used to be 210 pounds plus) which is great and I feel that I could get in the ring with Joe Calzaghe and give him a good old fashioned ass-whooping.

One problem with that - my platelets are very low, they're down to 35 - which means I would lose on cuts, but to be honest he would knock me out in 12 seconds flat anyway - including the count.

My liver tests are all looking good - the nurse told me that they are borderline normal - which is great, my white blood cells are looking up (they were dropping alarmingly), and my neutro's have gone up too, so I have my immune system working again - Hurrah ! - Everyone around me has colds and coughs and I don't have a sniffle !

But they may reduce the dose if my platelets don't improve - they may even stop it eventually. Which leads me to my question :-

If my platelets are so bad - How the hell do I feel so good ? - The virus must have really hit me hard over the years and I just never knew how ill I was cos I feel terrific.

Ah well - it's a quandry, - wrapped in an enigma, paradoxically wrapped in an oxymoron - or something like that.

Botom Line - I'm still not down about things, not work - not platelets, not anything. I'm 6 shots in - which in boxing terms would be 3 rounds in of a 12 round fight. - I'm ahead on points and I'm going for the KO.

Just want to stay on treatment - as Sylvester Stallone would write "Give me one more round, I didn't hear no final bell".

I love Rocky !

Big Love

Lau